LOOKING FOR A MAN!!! Here is some advice from my sister!

"Hook, Line and Stinker: Love Lessons from the Sea"

How well my boyfriend learned that I am not an avid fisher. As a matter of fact, I only went because I wanted to be with him. I did, however, get a bit excited when I caught a bass. I reeled it into the boat so fast that it landed by my feet and started flopping around. Panicking, I jerked the pole high in the air causing the hook to dislodge from the fish’s mouth. Unfortunately, for my boyfriend, it found it’s way to his. I told him I was sorry if I hurt him but I did get the best catch of the day.

Speaking of a good catch, should you find yourself in open waters, fishing and dating have a lot of similarities. We lure them, hook them then reel them in. Sadly, we catch a few stinkers along the way. You know the "throw backs". Take the stingray for instance. Would you want to date one? It has poison in it’s tail. Such is the case with people whose present circumstances are always overshadowed by past failures, successes and relationships. Date a stingray and you will find yourself in a long line of comparisons. Desire a happy future? Leave this creature behind you.

Looking for a deep relationship? Watch out for the shark. He circles his prey before moving in for the kill. People like this try to keep everyone else out of your life. Easy to recognize when they are verbally or physically abusive but they are often subtle, manipulative and controlling Eventually you realize you are a victim but by then there is no one around to help you.

Have you ever dated a blowfish? They always puff up when you hook them. Get one out of its environment, where it isn’t all about them and they can’t function. Sometimes they are the life of the party. Don’t be fooled. They are in constant need of attention: yours as well as others.

So you hooked a crab. Do not worry. They never stay on the line long enough to be reeled in If you ever want to marry one; you have to toss it in a very hot pot, put a lid on it and slowly cook it to death before it quits trying to claw its way out. Do be mindful of those pinchers.

Also to be avoided is the big mouth bass. They try to control you with their arrogant conversation. They have something to prove and their mouths know it. Few people get a word in but if they do this fish has a bigger tale.

Jellyfish appear translucent. Get too close and they will suck the life right out of you. They attach themselves to your time, work and even your house. After you’ve lost everything they move on.

Not all fish are bad companions. Dolphins are playful and protective fun loving and easy to get along with. Loyalty is one of their best attributes. They are definitely keepers.

Although oysters have a hard exterior, they are soft in the middle. Having allowed the trials of life to build their character, they contain a priceless treasure. Break through their defenses and you will be richly rewarded.

The whale, though seen as menacing can really be a gentle giant. This creature has a big heart and is willing to share it with you. He will protect you from the tough guys and treat you like a queen.

Ready to go fishing? Here are some tips from the pros. Know what kind of fish you want. Use the right bait or lure. Go where you can catch one and, for goodness sake, cut the line before you reel in a throw back.

After the fishing incident with my boyfriend, he decided that we should go target shooting NOT a good idea but that is another story altogether.

©2008 Valerie Chambers